“Under an umbrella” in the International Woman’s day?


After reading the news that Rihanna, 21, the girl who was famous for the hit “Umbrella”, will not testify after being assaulted by the boyfriend, Chris Brown, I couldn’t stop wondering: “What does this young celebrity have to say in the International Woman’s day (March 8th)?” Not that I am interested in her speech at all, however, we must consider that she is an icon that girls all around the world follow, specially the ones in her age.

I reckon that a chika in her early 20’s, absolutely independent, very successful, a sexy icon and showing the world the power of a woman by her performance dancing and singing should be more than just an image but also an example. In Brazil, recently we had a scandal very similar between celebrities. The girlfriend had been roughed up in public by the famous actor, in a party. Nevertheless, because of the pressure of the audience after it takes space in the main newspapers, she decided to testify and sue the bad boy that nowadays can’t get near from her.

I am very disappointed and maybe a bit naive to believe that she would at least show that definitely a man can’t hit a woman. Even Jay-Z (an ex-bad boy now married with another sexy symbol, Beyoncè) broke his silence to publicly announce his support to Rihanna, but it was not enough. Now many online gossipers try to understand why the famous performer is giving up of going ahead with this case and for me, it is a very simple fact: low self-esteem.

If you really think it does not happen with a girl who is in the top of the world, it does. Loneliness is a very common feeling for people who the personality and public image mix itself in just one thing. Why in times of open discussion about everything, women still being silently victim of abuses and violent men? Every place I go or every people I meet have a story of somebody who has suffered a kind of abuse.

I was raised in a very macho environment, being the minority among 3 men (2 brothers and a father) and I know how it is not easy to be physically weaker. Perhaps because of it I became the more intelligent one, since I had always to find a creative way to run from them in a fight between brothers. But the macho sickness still there. One of my brothers had the courage to say about the scandal involving Rihanna: “Who knows she deserved?!”… Uh? Excuse me? Could you repeat it?

Yes, dear readers, it is very common to find man who thinks like my brother still. And in the International Woman’s day of 2009, all what I wish is to see more women breaking their shame and standing up for their rights to sue and testify against any men that physically hurt them. At the same age of Rihanna, I was punched by a boy, and as well as most of us, I had to step back of accusing the guy because of a threat. That day, I had a broken arm and a broken soul that just after years of therapy to heal it over I was able to trust a man again.

I know the feeling of a 21 year-old in a girl, the freedom, the world is there for you. However, it does not mean that we know exactly how to deal with it. Nowadays, in my 30’s, I look to this 21-year-old girl with compassion but sad for her attitude of escaping to face her hurt feelings. In this International Woman’s day, I also look to the murder of thousands of women in India with anger and compassion for those girls that have been killed to not make the family poor because of a marriage. In a country where it is known as “Mother India”, mothers pray to have a boy.

Rihanna has a lot to learn as I had and it is a shame she couldn’t be the example that I also passed up to be to my friends in that time. For all men reading this article, please, your strength is not your intelligence and less, it is your ignorance. Take your wife, partner, mother, daughter, sister or friend in the International Woman’s day for a special dinner and tell them how much they are appreciated and beloved. Give them flowers, roses and smiles.

In conclusion, I share my bad experience with all you, waiting that Rihanna gets her self-esteem back and this guy out of her life (because who does once, does twice!) and maybe making of her an example for those anonymous women, like I was, whom wish to applause one less “pre-historic” man on the top of the hill. For those who never mentioned their abuses, talk about it, since it is the only way to leave it in the past and in the old memories. I hope we have a wonderful Women’s day and that we, women never get hidden under an umbrella of violence.

P.S.1: Speaking about good examples, Nicole Kidman recently became an ambassador of efforts for no violence against women. Follow below her speech for the Campaign:

P.S.2: It is an amazing documentary about how violence against women in India is becoming a Humanity issue:


~ by vikaaraujo on March 5, 2009.

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